also I can’t seem to get my abs back and it’s upsetting me. ugh.
We had a company networking event today and I’m just so fucking awkward. I’m usually confident and comfortable about myself but not at these things. I didn’t study business. I’m don’t do anything. All I do is work and exercise and listen to music and sleep. So I have no stories to tell, no interesting things to say. And I feel like I cannot make an impression on anyone. not to mention I don’t have a strong vocabulary and constantly stutter and talk over myself and get tongue tied.
then this other intern is so intelligent and witty and has intriguing stories and I’m just standing here awkwardly twiddling my thumbs.
I’ve heard all the advice about making your mark, making an impact, making the company miss you when you’re gone. But I feel like in the three years I’ve worked here I haven’t done that. I’ve just barely skidded by and did the minimum amount of work. I can’t say if I had the chance to go back I would because I was never motivated by any of this work. Never interested. Yet I wish I could’ve made a bigger impact on the company. I’m just disappointed in myself. And as my internship comes to a close, I just regret not giving my 120% to these people who so generously gave me a job and a steady income for the past 3 years.
I just want to be the best and excel and beat everyone at everything I do, but I don’t always have the drive…
Nope that’s not me crying I just have a twig in my eye